As far as my positivity blogs go, I'm so sorry!
I've been told by a few people who I'm only acquaintances with that they read my blog and how I've helped them stay more positive. & let me tell you.. that absolutely makes my day when I hear something like that.
To start off this post, I'd like to say that I'm better at preaching positivity than actually doing it. I can think positive thoughts alright, but as far as never doubting and putting myself down, yeah.. I'm no good at that. As a matter of fact, if something doesn't happen in MY personal time period, I start to doubt like crazy.
It can get FRUSTRATING. To anyone who feels like they've ever been in a stationary state for a long period of time you can empathize with me that it is HARD.
But I want to tell you some things about me that I feel very proud of myself for doing. They aren't out of this world but, I think they are really helping me focus on me.
I go to the gym now. Wait, what? Yes... I know. The apocalypse MUST be soon. I somehow found self motivation to go. I think paying for a gym instead of just doing it here and there for free helps me personally stay self motivated. Because if I don't go, I just wasted money. I really enjoy the gym I go to as well which helps me stay motivated. I've been going for about 6 weeks now, 3 days a week and I'm really starting to see what sort of an impact it's making on me.
Another thing that I'm proud of myself for doing is taking the time to 'smell the roses' if you may. If I have absolutely nothing else to do, I try and do something to sooth one of my 5 senses. One of the things I've been taking the time to do is watch the sunset. I really enjoy the way the light touches the carpet and makes me feel warm and happy. I've always loved sunsets, so doing this is one of my favorites.
I joined the Black Student Union which is a club at USU. I've met some great people and I finally feel like I can relate with people on different levels OTHER than Mormonism for once. I love being able to talk about the weird things people say out here to me because I'm black and the people in this club have been through it too. It's great having those group of friends.
On another note:
I tend to feel alone a lot. Sometimes I do that to myself or people do it unknowingly to me. I don't like feeling left out but I feel that way almost ALL the time when I'm around people. I need to work on being happy even when those moments come and I have to realize that people don't do it on purpose even though it happens.
Last, I need to work on being okay with being alone (dating wise). I sometimes wonder what could possibly be wrong with me and start beating myself up emotionally because of it. But the more I do things on my own, the more content I am with being alone. My friend was telling me to take this time now to work on things for me and enjoy it because once I'm married I'll never really get the chance to think of just me ever again. So for those of you struggling with something along those lines... let's catch a movie together ;)
Anyways, this post was all over the place. I always feel pretty vulnerable posting things like this but I figure if I can help one other person other than me I did an alright job.
Happy Friday :)
Until the next post.
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