Sunday, March 16, 2014

Hypocritical Lover

Breakups are HARD

I could just end my blog post like that... BOOM. But no I'm going to keep going. 

Personally, I always think of the lyric from the song Feels Good At First by Train that says

"For every heartbreak, there's a sermon to be said and this pastor in my head is preaching to the choir" because there really has to be! There has to be someone there, friends or family, that basically need to preach to you that help you get through it because I know for me I CANNOT do it alone. 

With that being said, I feel as though I am such a hypocrite. When a friend goes through a heartbreak I have to sit there and convince them that everything is going to be alright and they'll find someone and this and that. But here's the problem. I have not even convinced myself of that. I have a hard time believing everything will fall into place.

I know how relationships work.. this is not my first rodeo. I can tell when a guy wants to be with me or doesn't. I can tell the exact date I feel the person withdrawal.. and almost every breakup I have been in have been pretty similar, yet different. 

What I need help working on is the believing that sometimes it really is not ME. Sometimes things don't work out. & It's not because I was not good enough, its because that person was just not the right match for me. Yes, even though he was nice and yes even though he treated me better than the last one. Because clearly, the fact that someone was a nice person (which is not hard to do...) is not the reason of why it probably didn't work. 

The one thing that I can preach though to anyone who has a hard time with heartbreak is that you can really learn to understand yourself so much better through it. You find your likes and dislikes. There are some things that I thought were important in a relationship that really aren't. There are also things about me that I learn to love when I find someone I truly care about. 

For example, I noticed that when I'm in a relationship, I love to serve the other person.
No.. not like wait at them hand and foot.. but serve.
I like to do small and big things to them that I hope will make their day. 

So to end this on a positive note,  that is actually the opposite of hypocritical: 
Love yourself enough to know what you're worth and to never settle for anything less. 

....Because you're not just looking for a lover.. you're looking for your best friend.

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