Why in the world did I stop doing these blog posts?!
I seriously used to love doing the positivity blog and I know there were people that read it that liked me doing them too. So, it's about time I started thing little thang up again!
For starters, my life has been anything other than positive vibes (my own fault of course).
It's just really funny how you can have this vision of what your life is supposed to be like. You can have a plan lined up and ready to go like "OH! I'm going to go to college and figure out exactly what I want to be and where I want to go".. but in all reality that's NOT how life plays out for everyone.
What I keep reminding myself when it comes to life is that there is no set formula that works for everyone. There just isn't. As individuals we are all SO different. Something that works for your sister's best friend or maybe even your sister OR YOU may not work the same for me. So for me, it gets frustrating when people tell their unique story and believe its the formula that can help bring you happiness.
Nah.. you have to find happiness in yourself first and on your own. That's what I've been taking the free time to do since I've graduated. I'm trying to not let the rules of society dictate my happiness. I feel like I've been living a life where I never really got to know myself on a deeper level. Do I really love what I graduated in? Is there something else that could make me happier? Are there things I want to experience that I couldn't before but can now? These sort of questions are something you can just answer on a timed test... they are things that take time to develop and understand.
See, my problem is I have an issue with settling. I hate watching others do it and I make it a priority that I won't. Here's a story...
In my Photography II class in college, we had to pick a subject that we were going to have to take pictures of the ENTIRE semester. No changes. That seems like an easy task but it had to be an inanimate object that there are a lot of that you can't move or change (it's complicated I know, but an example of that would be a bench or a soda machine or maybe even doors). The pressure of having to choose something for the whole semester by the next two classes made me make a choice that, if I had thought it over longer, wouldn't have been something I'd do. I picked churches. Seems easy enough, going around to churches and taking photos of them. Here's the problem: You had to take pictures of churches the same exact way EVERY TIME. Not only that, we were working with 4x5 camera's so there wasn't much wiggle room for mistakes. Do you now how HARD it is to find a church in Logan, Utah that isn't Mormon? I'll answer that for ya.. it's hard. If it's not a church looking building it's just a regular house. Long story short, I hated the semester, I had never felt more stressed and I had wished I could have just picked something that I had more of an interest in taking photos of (like doors or something.. I really like cool doors thanks to mama Moulton). Not only that, near the end of the semester, I didn't really care anymore. I ended up getting torn apart at my final critique which left me walking out saying I would never take a photo of a church again.
Now that story was more of a rant that anything.. but I truly feel if I wasn't pressured so quickly to make the choice I did, I wouldn't have been so miserable that semester. That's a small comparison to life.. but I believe these are the days of opportunity to truly figure out what I want out of life. DON'T SETTLE for something that will just get you by. In one of my guilty pleasure shows I watch there's a line that says "...But the right kind of pressure can make you into a diamond" "Yes, and the wrong kind of pressure can turn you into dust". Don't be dust. It'll be worth it.
Stay positive, you'll figure it out and it will be beautiful!
Until the next post :)